If it seems too good to be true, you're probably involved in money laundering

The frame has been sold. It felt all too easy. I posted on Craig's list, got a reply and sold the ol' girl. After all we had been through, we were just starting to get to know each other. Oh well. She wasn't the one for me. But hey, I made 35 bucks in the process. But as for the second Peugeot I bought...now THAT is a story...

I posted on Craig's list last week, and here is the email chain with one "William Laura" that seemed all too good to be true.

William:

Hello,
Is the item still available and in good condition?
Regards,
Laura Williams.

Me:

Yes and yes! It needs a new chain and a front tired tube but everything else is awesome! I wish it was my size. When would you like to come see it?

William:

I appreciate your response to my inquiry. Am interested in buying it
from you. I would have loved to come and check it myself but I'm on
business to canada. Pls do withdraw the advert from craigslist as i don't
mind adding $50 for you to do that, so i can be rest assured that the item
is held for me. I should believe it is in good condition as stated. I will be
making the payment via a Certified Check, which my secretary will mail
to you. I'll be picking the item from you with the aid of my mover. My
Mover will be coming to pick it from you once the Certified Check has
been cashed. Pls I will need your full name and residential address
along with your phone number to issue out the payment.
Regards.

Commentary: This is the second item I have ever sold on Craig's list, so for me, this seemed totally legit so far. I mean, this seems like a busy guy who likes the old school peugeot but doesn't have time to see it so he wants me to hold it for him. What's an extra 50 bucks to a guy who goes on business to Canada during the week? What I should have been thinking at the time was, who the fuck goes on business to Canada? But hey, I wanted to believe that I was going to sell this bike and get extra money. At the time, I really thought there was nothing out of the ordinary here...

Me:

Wow that sounds great. I will take the item off craig's list and hold it for you, on good faith that you will send me a check for $300. My full name is Jordan Cohen and I would like you to send the check to my workplace. The address is:

Jordan Cohen

Painted Bride Art Center

230 Vine Street

Philadelphia, PA 19106

You said your mover will be coming to pick up the bike? I imagine that will be sometime next week? My number is 301-807-7134. You can have him call me to set up a day and time, once I receive the check. Please confirm all the details of this email so that I can take the bike off Craigs list. Thanks for your interest! I'm glad the bike will be going to a good home!

Commentary: I know what you are all thinking, OBVIOUSLY this is a scam. But put yourself in my position. You want to sell a bike. It sounds like the guy wants to buy it. You are getting an extra 50 bucks. Where is the scam?

William:

Thank you for your reply.Your payment will be send and should be ready for the mail asap,do get back to me as soon as you have the payment delivered to you.You tell me the best time for the mover to come over for the pick up after you might have cashed the check.Moreover, do remove the ad completely from craigslist to be sure it is held for me.

Commentary: This seems pretty legit to me. He is send the check and his mover will come pick up the bike. My fears have been calmed, for now...

Me:

OK, I will take the bike off Craig's list. Thank you for your purchase. I will let you know when I get the check for $300. Could I possibly have a phone number to contact you if there is any problem? Thanks!

Me (follow up):

I just deleted the posting. Please let me know when the payment has been sent. Thanks.

William:

Hi ,
How are you doing? I want you to understand that the deal is on as my
secretary has posted the payment already, but there was a slight error
i guess we can handle with care, instead of the actual amount for the
item, she made out the check for $2250, she claimed that was what i
requested but she didn't get that straight. So once you have the check
please cash it and deduct the money for the items plus $50 that for your
running around expenses. The excess fund should please be sent to my
mover via western union,this fund will be use for pick up and delivery of the
item and in offsetting the cost of the shipment he has undertaken for me
recently.
**Please email at once to let me know that i can trust you to have the
excess funds sent to my mover**
Regards.

Commentary: Welcome to sketchville, where people have names like William Laura and money gets thrown around like candy. I would LOVE to say that I knew this was a scam at this point, but truthfully, I still thought it might be legit. I mean, I knew something weird was up, but I didn't really want to believe it. I did want to talk to this guy in person though, so I wasn't just blindly going through with it. And how was I supposed to know that Western Union is a money launderer's best friend?

Me:

This all seems a bit crazy. Please call me at 301-807-7134 so we can discuss this over the phone so that we both feel better about it. Thank you and I look forward to talking with you.

Me (next day):

I know you are busy but if you had a free moment I would love to talk to you about the money mix up. If you cannot, I could talk to your secretary instead and try to work something out. You can trust me to only take the money you owe me for the bike, but I would feel better about the situation (as you would I believe) if we talked it out. My number is 301-807-7134. Thanks!

Commentary: Ok, so I knew something was up, but man did I not want it to be true. But really, I wouldn't have gone through with it if the guy didn't call.

William:

Sorry i've been too busy to check my mails. I would give you a call tomorrow.

Commentary: No call. I'm really starting to believe this is bullshit. I know what your thinking..."it too you THIS long?!?"

Me:

If I don't here from you by 5, I am relisting the item. My number is 301-807-7134.

Me (later that day):

Thank you for completely wasting my time. A simple email response would have been nice.

William:

Hello and how are you doing?

Did you still have the item held for me. I'm not ignoring your emails i've been too busy last week to check mails.

Commentary: OK, so I know now this is all a money laundering scam. But the guy is pretty persistent, isn't he? There is a tiny part of me that wonders if this could possibly be legit. So I give it one last try. I guess I'm just an idiot like that.

Me:

This whole thing seems a bit fishy to me. If your secretary made out the check for the wrong amount, have her cancel the original check for $2250 and send me another check for the $300 we originally agreed on. I really don't want to have to deal with western union or handling extra money of yours. If you send me the check for $300, the bike is yours. For now I relisted the item. Send the check quickly, and when I get a PHONE CALL confirmation that the check has been sent, by you or your secretary, I will take the ad off craigs list. My number is 301-807-7134. If I get another offer for the bike before I hear from you I am selling it. Sorry to sound harsh, I just feel like you have wasted a week of my time already and I could have had this bike sold.

Commentary: Shit. So I have given this guy my name, email address, work address and phone number. If he really is a drug dealing king pin who is praying on gullible bike sellers to launder money, maybe I should be worried. So far, no word from the infamous Mr. Laura. But something tells me I may not have seen the last of him. Furthermore, by me posting this on my gchat, he may very well be reading this right now. Maybe I should look into Craig's List Witness Protection?