Ooops I did it again

On a crazed quest for my white whale, a beautiful old rainbow peugeot that I once saw in a bicycle shop, I have made a few errors along the way. But this time, I was SURE that I found the one. I was on craigs list one day, looking at ads for bikes, when I saw what I had been searching for all alongThere it was, the beauty that haunted my dreams, in plain color. I had to have her. The bike was listed with about 15 others on an add for a bike sale in Clark Park. I couldn't risk waiting until the sale to get it, in case someone poached it right underneath my nose. An obsession you say? You call me crazy? I'm not crazy, YOU'RE crazy! I called the guy and told him that I would meet him anywhere if I could just buy the bike ahead of time. So I dipped out of work early and drove to Chester to buy the bike in the middle of the day.

I barely test road it, I just knew it was the perfect size and looked like the one in my dreams. It had fenders swanky fenders and magnetic powered lights, unlike the bike I once saw, but I thought it was just the upgraded version. WRONG. Turns out, they made a ton of bikes in the 80's with these decals, and this bike was another run of the mill, crappy wal-mart style bike. Well shit. And while the frame was made of low grade steel and the bike was rather heavy, it would be a shame to rip off all the original parts like the magnetic powered lights and back wheel lock. So, I decided to flip this one too.

Now onto the fun part of the story. I listed the bike on craig's list, hoping to make a profit. I bought the bike for 225, so I put it up for 300. I got a few people asking to buy it for 250, but I let greed get the best of me. Instead, I waited it out. Until, last Saturday morning, I got a frantic call from a girl who was SO EXCITED to come see the bike. I called her and told her that I was free after about 3 but I had to go into work in an hour. She called back 10 min later and said she HAD to see the bike this morning. I thought, what the hell? If I was gonna sell the bike and be done with it, why not? I told her to hurry up and get over here. It was 10:20 and I needed to be in work by 11. She shows up at 10:45 and I bring the bike out to her and her 2 friends. It is raining.

She looks at the bike and seems pretty interested. She asks me where I got so I told her the story. She then proceeds to ride off into the rain with it. I sit there, chatting up her friends for the time being. One of the girls is giving me the stink eye while the other is rather cheery (a good cop, bad cop scenario, as I later realized). The girl comes back 10 minutes later riding on the bike. She gets off and I asked her how she liked it. "I love the bike, but I can't but it." My response: "excuse me?" She continued: "well, my bike, which looks kinda like this one was stolen last night in Northern Liberties so I thought you just stole my bike, changed out some parts and were trying to resell it. I'm just happy I don't have to call the cops on you." I was dumbfounded, disappointed and downright pissed. But what could I do? So I wheeled the now wet bike back in my house, got my shit, and went to work.

The next day, still pissed at how she treated me, I wrote that biddie a nasty email. Here it goes:

"Because you wasted my time yesterday morning when I TOLD you I had to get somewhere, I was late for the open mic that I was planning. I understand you were upset that your bike was stolen, but you instantly WANTED me to be the guy who stole your bike and didn't even respect the fact that I might not be. The only reason I let you come yesterday morning was because I thought it would be a quick sale, instead you rode the bike for 10 min IN THE RAIN (which is bad enough for the bike) when you probably could have looked at it more intensely and realized it wasn't your bike. And then after you told me you didn't want to buy this bike, "I'm glad I don't have to call the cops on you" as if I should be HAPPY you wasted my time because at least now I don't have to go to jail. Just because your bike was stolen, it does not give you the right to waste other people's time in trying to find it. Maybe instead you should be spending more time wondering why your bike was stolen in the first place. Buy a better lock, don't leave it out overnight, all that jazz. In conclusion, you are an inconsiderate bitch.


P.S. I saw someone take a bike into their house down the block yesterday that looks an awful lot like the one I'm selling, when I'm pretty sure I've seen him usually riding a shittier one. Maybe you should call the cops on him, 955 Randolph Street. Or maybe you should just buy another bike."

Harsh? Maybe. The PS is actually just my vindictive little revenge, seeing if she would knock on some random persons place and accuse them of stealing her bike. I won't share her reply message because it was actually quite apologetic and it would make me seem like an asshole. MY blog, MY rules. I'm clearly not out to make myself look bad on my own publication.